I don’t have much experience with snow. Growing in up sunny Las Vegas, I became an expert blackjack player and a connoisseur of local ‘entertainers’, but topics such as winter preparedness always escaped me. But all this changed when I was invited on a winter trip to the mountains with my friend Bob.
Bob had word that the abominable snowman had been sighted in a little known wooded area and he was determined to investigate. So we packed up our skis and other supplies in my old 1958 Edsel Amblewagon and hit the road.
As we drove, Bob gave me the lowdown on the elusive snowman:
“Everyone who has tried to track him has been unsuccessful because they’ve tried to hunt him. They forget that he’s part human and therefore his humanity must be appealed to. I’ll first befriend him.”
“Then what?” I asked.
“Well, when I’ve gained his trust, I’ll throw this bag over his head, knock him out with a rock , and sell him to the circus!”
After a long drive, we reached the spot and set up camp. Unfortunately, a storm was moving in and within an hour snow began to fall thick and fast. Despite this, Bob set out into the woods to stalk his quarry. An hour passed, then 24, then 48. I knew I had to do something to find my friend so I drove out onto the icy roads. My trusty Edsel was no match for the winter conditions, and soon I was sliding around like a hockey puck.
I jammed hard on the accelerator, but only succeed only in drifting off the road and into a snow bank. It seemed I was done for. But then, I heard noises of approach. Two figures came out of the gloomy forest and slowly walked toward my car. I grabbed my tire iron and prepared for a confrontation.
But my fear was unfounded. It was Bob and the abominable snowman! I greeted them.
“Hey Bob! Hey Snowman!”
“Hey man what’s up”, said the snowman, smiling in a friendly way.
Luckily the AS was an expert in putting chains on vehicles, having lived so long in frozen conditions. He enlightened me on several topics including the proper way of fastening the speed hooks and how to add rubber fasteners to increase the lifespan of the chains.
We were soon on our way back to civilization with our new friend.
experience with snow
Snow chains
Snow chains, or tire chains, are devices which are affixed to the tires of vehicles to provide superior traction when driving through snow and ice. Snow chains are usually attached to the drive wheels of a vehicle (e.g. the front wheels on a front-wheel drive car), though all four wheels should be chained to provide extra stability. Some owner's manuals for four-wheel drive cars specify that two specific wheels can be chained, leaving the other two unchained if necessary.
Snow chains are sold as paired sets of two. You should buy chains that match your tire size (tire width and radius numbers can be found printed on the tire).
A set of chains are placed on the wheels that are connected to the drive train in order to gain traction in icy, snowy or muddy conditions.
Front Wheel Drive Vehicles: Most passenger cars are front wheel powered vehicles, so the snow chains would be placed on the two front tires. (Though all four wheels should be chained to provide extra stability as long as the vehicle's owner's manual does not indicate chains cannot be used on all four wheels.)
Rear Wheel Drive Vehicles: Pickup trucks, older cars and sporty cars are usually rear wheeled drive so the chains are placed on the rear tires. (Though all four wheels should be chained to provide extra stability as long as the vehicle's owner's manual does not indicate chains cannot be used on all four wheels.)
Four Wheel Drive Vehicles: Four wheel vehicles can use two pairs of chains to cover all four wheels. With only one pair of chains they are often put on the rear wheels, but can be placed on the front wheels instead for the added steering and braking benefit. (All four wheels should be chained to provide extra stability as long as the vehicle's owner's manual does not indicate chains cannot be used on all four wheels.)
In snowy conditions, transportation authorities often require snow chains to be fitted on vehicles that lack four-wheel drive and proper tires. These requirements are usually enforced by checkpoints, before which eligible drivers must have snow-chains fitted on their cars. Near such checkpoints, chains can often be fitted professionally for a fee. Snow chains limit the speed of the automobile to approximately 30 mph (50 km/h), and reduce fuel efficiency.