experience with snow

I don’t have much experience with snow. Growing in up sunny Las Vegas, I became an expert blackjack player and a connoisseur of local ‘entertainers’, but topics such as winter preparedness always escaped me. But all this changed when I was invited on a winter trip to the mountains with my friend Bob.

Bob had word that the abominable snowman had been sighted in a little known wooded area and he was determined to investigate. So we packed up our skis and other supplies in my old 1958 Edsel Amblewagon and hit the road.

As we drove, Bob gave me the lowdown on the elusive snowman:

“Everyone who has tried to track him has been unsuccessful because they’ve tried to hunt him. They forget that he’s part human and therefore his humanity must be appealed to. I’ll first befriend him.”

“Then what?” I asked.

“Well, when I’ve gained his trust, I’ll throw this bag over his head, knock him out with a rock , and sell him to the circus!”

After a long drive, we reached the spot and set up camp. Unfortunately, a storm was moving in and within an hour snow began to fall thick and fast. Despite this, Bob set out into the woods to stalk his quarry. An hour passed, then 24, then 48. I knew I had to do something to find my friend so I drove out onto the icy roads. My trusty Edsel was no match for the winter conditions, and soon I was sliding around like a hockey puck.

I jammed hard on the accelerator, but only succeed only in drifting off the road and into a snow bank. It seemed I was done for. But then, I heard noises of approach. Two figures came out of the gloomy forest and slowly walked toward my car. I grabbed my tire iron and prepared for a confrontation.

But my fear was unfounded. It was Bob and the abominable snowman! I greeted them.

“Hey Bob! Hey Snowman!”

“Hey man what’s up”, said the snowman, smiling in a friendly way.

Luckily the AS was an expert in putting chains on vehicles, having lived so long in frozen conditions. He enlightened me on several topics including the proper way of fastening the speed hooks and how to add rubber fasteners to increase the lifespan of the chains.

We were soon on our way back to civilization with our new friend.